Before I can write about a few of my experiences I must first tell you a little about how the shelter I was involved with operated. Below is a basic overview and I assume most domestic violence shelters follow the same basic guidelines.

THE HOUSE
Ours was an average looking single story large 9 bedroom house in a nondescript neighborhood. It looked much like your average home with a kitchen, living room, recreation room, and 4 bathrooms.

"The House" as it was called had about 8 full-time employees plus a coordinator.


THE CALL
When a woman wanted to come into the shelter she first had to make a call and a basic short phone interview took place. (If her call was emergent she was asked to call 911.)  The caller had to make the initial contact call herself, no one could do this for her.
 
It was then decided within what time-frame she would arrive and a bed, or beds if she had children, was reserved.

Upon her arrival forms were filled out and photos were taken. Medications were counted, charted, an placed in a locked closet.  Medications were then distributed as needed by the shelter's staff.  (At the end of each shift all medications were counted and initialed by both shift's staff members to ensure no tampering.)

Money and other valuables were stored in a type of safety deposit box. The client had a key as well as a staff member and the two keys were necessary to open the box.

Each client was given a list of house regulations and asked to sign that she understood these requests with the knowledge that if she did not comply she would be asked to leave the shelter.

CHORES 
Chores were posted (cooking, cleaning, etc.) on a weekly basis and clients could trade if necessary.  It was much like living in a communal situation where all clients are equally responsible to keep things running smoothly.

As you read on, some of these rules and regulations may sound "over the top" structured but please think about 20 women (and kids) living in one house and all was a free-for-all! 

MORNINGS
Clients were asked to be up within a certain time period.  Showers were taken, rooms tidied up, children gotten ready for school and then it was time for breakfast. Later women with jobs went to work. Others attended "Group" where each client's plan for the day was discussed.

When leaving for appointments, job searches, or other reasons for leaving the shelter each client was asked to sign out listing her appointment times and estimated time to return to the shelter.  On her return she was asked to sign in and note the time.

EVENINGS
Dinner, as well as all meals, was fixed by clients and was served at a specific time.  A client who would not be having dinner at the appointed time was asked to fill out a form excusing herself from the meal prior to that day and the same went for general chores.

Another "Group" meeting took  place where clients learned about the cycle of violence and other life skills necessary to live independently of an abusive relationship.  Often guest speakers were invited to share their knowledge including information regarding more programs and services that were available.

After dinner clients would watch TV (not all programs were allowed), read, visit, or  pursue a hobby then shower and get ready for the next day until it was time for them to retire to their rooms.

STAFF AND CLIENT
Clients were responsible for their children at all times.  Staff did not babysit nor make any arrangements for school, after school activities, doctor visits, client's job interviews, or other personal  business.  Clients were encourage to find jobs although this was up to the client.

During weekly "case management" between client and an appointed staff member, the client would list her goals for the week and recoup the previous weeks accomplishments.

SERVICES
The shelter had most all personal items a woman (or her children) might need such as toothpaste, toothbrushes, feminine items, shampoo, diapers, etc.. Most of these came from donations.

Many services and programs were available at no charge to the client. Most women who came into the shelter had no job and little, if any, money. As long as they checked into the shelter they were immediately eligible (front of the line) to sign up for assistance. Also, they had access to a victim's advocate as well as a legal advocate if they were to press charges or attain an Order of Protection.   If a woman was in the U.S. illegally someone involved with immigration would be available to work on giving her legal or temporary  "legal" status.

If the police came asking about a client they would be told that, "We cannot confirm or deny that so-and-so is here."  (Although if there were a legal issue regarding the client the police could pick her up once she left the premise.)

MY PERSONAL FEELINGS
I have great admiration and respect for the women that come into the shelter and decided to work a program that would give them the chance to be free of a destructive past and to move ahead to a more productive and healthy life.

Since so much help is available  I am always very saddened to learn that after all their hard work, self-discovery, and use of all services that were at their disposal that many would return to the same lifestyle once they left the shelter (or left the shelter to go back to a former life-style). To leave, only to make that same desperate call to "The House" perhaps 6 months, a year or even longer, again.

Next week: Women's stories


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THIS SHRIMP MAY DIE ON A TREADMILL

Taxpayer Money Spent on 

• Robots That Fold Laundry

• Shrimp on Treadmills

• and more government waste of taxpayer money

Gee...just how much of our money have we 

allowed them on such worthy causes?

Liberals and Conservatives 

please unite against Government Stupidity!
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